How to Build a Child's Confidence

By Mary Smith. Updated: January 16, 2017
How to Build a Child's Confidence

As good parents, we all love our children and often think we know what is best for them. We do not realize that they need their space, that sometimes we are too demanding and do not reinforce positive messages enough. In the long run, this can take its toll on children, who may develop an emotional dependence on their parents. Therefore, it is essential to help our children to grow up to be independent and we must start from an early age, helping them to grow into upstanding, confident people. It's not easy, but it can be done. In this OneHowTo article we give you some guidelines on how to build a child's confidence.

You may also be interested in: How to Help an Insecure Child
Steps to follow:

Do not reinforce negative messages. Reinforce the positive. Even the things that your child has not done well can be given a more constructive appraisal. For example, instead of saying: "I'm very disappointed in you. After everything I've done for you!" , you might want to say: "The one who you are fooling is yourself, not me" Your child should understand they need to do things for themselves, not to please their parents.


If you have more than one child, do not compare the child with their siblings. Certainly, comparisons can lead to low self-esteem. Do the opposite: empower their own abilities, promote positive messages to those things where your child does well: music, dancing, reading, painting, climbing or simply if the child is a good football player.


You have to become a model for them. Of course, we do not want children to imitate their parents but if they see their parents as strong, confident and positive role models, that will strengthen the self-esteem of the child. If you are asking them to eat all their vegetables on the dish, you must lead by example. That means that parents are a reference for the child. Therefore, screams and foul language should not be allowed at home.


To build a child's confidence, it is very important that you help them express their feelings. It is crucial that they can feel comfortable to tell you if they are sad, if they are happy, if they are concerned about something. To do this, you must create a climate of communication between you and the child each day to encourage your child to open up to you.

How to Build a Child's Confidence - Step 4

Physical contact is incredibly refreshing. If you're not a loving person, you should try to change because people, especially children, need a hug, a kiss, give them your hand and look them in the eye, give them tickles... They need skin to skin contact from their parents to reinforce security and to feel loved.


It is very important to play with your children, interact with them and spend quality time with them. It is also very important to promote the child's self-esteem. Set realistic goals that can be met. If your child seems to have self-esteem issues, take a look at how to help an insecure child. No unattainable goals should be set, but things that the child can attain to help increase their individual motivation and confidence.

If you want to read similar articles to How to Build a Child's Confidence, we recommend you visit our Being a Mom & Dad category.

Write a comment about How to Build a Child's Confidence

What did you think of this article?

How to Build a Child's Confidence
1 of 2
How to Build a Child's Confidence

Back to top