How To Help my Introverted Child

By Mary Smith. Updated: January 16, 2017
How To Help my Introverted Child

Shyness is a common personality trait in children, and sometimes it's hard to know at what age behavioural problems begin to arise. You might be surprised to know that almost 15% of children under the age of six suffer from introversion. It is usually observed in children when they are withdrawn or hesitant in new situations. Usually, shyness is noticed when your little one is out of their comfort zone, but does your child hide behind you when someone unknown talks to them? Do they find it hard to participate in group activities with other children? Are they often frightened by unfamiliar situations? If all the answers are yes, your little one suffers from shyness. It's not a disorder but a character trait that can be changed and overcome with constant effort and understanding. If you want to know more about how to help your introverted child the following OneHowTo article will give you some tips.

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Steps to follow:

Before helping an introverted child, you must learn about the possible causes of shyness. Generally, introversion develops from a very young age. This combined with fear, especially of the unknown, normally begins with school and the fear of being separated from parents.

Around the age of 3, children start to give logical reasons about their fears and if these develop or worsen, this can turn into a problem of shyness. While many children are born with a predisposition to be shy, i.e. with a genetic trait, many can overcome this over the years, as genetics are not a determining factor when it comes to problems of introversion.

How To Help my Introverted Child - Step 1
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It is important that you know how to detect the signs and traits associated with an introverted child. Generally speaking, they are fearful and nervous, especially when faced with anyone unknown (it is common for them to hide behind the people they trust). They avoid people they don't know. They find it hard to come out of their comfort zone for anything which may overwhelm them, unless it's for people they know who don't scare them.

On the other hand, they may suffer from problems mixing with people, as they may prefer to be alone rather than doing group activities (this is the biggest difference between introversion and shyness). Along these lines, you'll notice their introversion from a young age because they won't normally participate and will be very quiet when they are with other children.

How To Help my Introverted Child - Step 2

Early detection of these signs is critical so you can curb them if you don't want your little one to experience difficulties relating to others as the years go by, especially in adolescence, which is one of the toughest and most controversial stages in life. Assess their behaviour and understand why your little one doesn't openly show their feelings. Understanding what introversion is and what it means is important to enable you to help your child.


One of the keys to helping an introverted child is to avoid overprotecting them in the heart of the home. Your child must feel safe, but not overprotected. Parents should not speak for them. They should be left alone to develop, to grow, to get hurt, to make mistakes and, above all, so they learn themselves. Overprotection of your little one will make them weaker and more withdrawn. The goal is to make them stronger so they gradually overcome their problem, with the help of their parents, of course. Remember that allowing them to socially isolate themselves and place themselves in a bubble of sibling love will only make the problem worse.

How To Help my Introverted Child - Step 4

Don't force them. Above all, it's important that you don't try to make your child behave in a way that doesn't match their character. Some parents unconsciously try to force their children to be more open or sociable, with phrases like "don't hide", "say something" and "go and play with the other kids," etc. Forcing your child to stop being introverted will not help them to overcome any problems. You must allow them to gradually discover for themselves that nothing is going to happen to them. Remember: the less you say, the more you'll achieve.


Parents who are sociable will help their little one's introversion, as children often imitate everything they see. So if their parents have open, social and disinhibited behaviour in situations which are out of the ordinary, their child is likely to naturally adopt these attitudes too.

How To Help my Introverted Child - Step 6

Set aside labels because they don't help at all. You can't shield your child from being who they are by making excuses. You need to ensure that your little one becomes relaxed and that they normally adapt themselves to unknown situations. Give them time and space to accept new things. Leave them to discover things for themselves and overcome their fears.


You must look for opportunities for your child to relate to others, so they become less inhibited and lose any fear and shyness. Take them out to eat with kids their age. Go to the park every day. Sign them up to a sporting team or encourage them to invite one of their friends to sleep over. These things will all help them to practice social skills and, gradually, be freed from introversion. They may initially find it hard, so you will need to give them a feeling of security so that they can develop, but you should leave them to naturally adapt themselves. Remember: safety yes, overprotection no.

How To Help my Introverted Child - Step 8

Last but not least, you should try recognise their efforts and merits, so that an introverted child can overcome certain fears which they assume will be an ordeal. You must always appreciate all positive behaviour as that will help your child to take a step away from introversion. Recognition will help them to trust themselves, so this will make them feel safe when handling new unfamiliar situations.

If you want to read similar articles to How To Help my Introverted Child, we recommend you visit our Being a Mom & Dad category.

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