How To Know If You Are A Mombie

It is definitely not a good idea to neglect your child's needs. They are vulnerable creatures under your protection and they need everything from you. A child or children's family setting can be varied and it is great to see the idea of what makes a ‘family’ changing. Whether a child is in the stereotypical 2.4 children family unit, have parents of the same gender, have a single parent or are being raised by non-blood relatives, the only things that are important are the resources to look after the child and lots of love. Unfortunately, some mothers don't have the support network they deserve to give them much free time. This is not the same as being a mombie and finding the right support is important for every parent.

Some mothers, however, take on this role to the point it affects them personally. Sometimes, this can lead to being a ‘mombie’. The definition of a mombie is someone who has been looking after children for so long they don't see anything else. Whether it is down to a psychological shift or sheer tiredness, their focus on being a mom is so strong, it's almost not human.

One of the symptoms of being a mombie is that they don't have or make time for doing anything else but mom duties. This means making no time to socialize and relenting on the things that used to be enjoyable for them. Of course, this is a tongue-in-cheek term and is rarely used with much seriousness. If it is used seriously, then the person using it is most likely forgetting the serious task which parenting is. Also, it is important to remember we don't often have much insight into other people's circumstance, so you shouldn't judge.

Most mombies are sleep deprived, probably because their kids did not let them sleep or they decided to stay up late just to have some child-less time. They may have dark circles under their eyes, have an expressionless face and don’t have the strength or will to strike a conversation. These are actions which you might more commonly recognize as that of a traditional zombie. While keeping a balance between work, home and child responsibilities, they often get sleep deprived and start acting and looking like a zombie.

Being a mombie means you often start to fade out of reality. Maybe they are hearing to their kids, but not listening to them. Mombies feel tired, unappreciated and over-stressed, and often consider themselves as motherhood failures. Because they have so many things to attend to, they may become angry, stressed and impatient all the time. When kids are around, they are always waiting for a few minutes of silence. When they talk to you, you simply nod your head and don’t reply. They can’t process what they are saying and often cannot give their own point of view or come up with their own thoughts.

If you fear you may be falling into the mombie character, here are some other possible signs:

• When you look into the mirror, you notice puffy bags, blood shot eyes, dark circles, and tiny lines at the sides of your mouth (not to be confused with general ageing which is a natural process for everyone).
• You take a nap in the afternoon and end up waking more tired.
• Little muscles in your eyelids create a life of their own and start ticking or twitching involuntarily.
• After you washed your hair, you forget to brush them and do not realize it until lunch time.
• You wear your pyjamas until the moment you leave the door and put them back on as soon as you come back home. You may not even mind wearing them in public, may be to the nearby grocery store. You are no longer bothered to present yourself in any particular way.
• While your kids are sleeping, you think about what harm they will make if you happen to take a nap along with them too.
• You walk into the kitchen and completely forget why you went there. Sometimes, you start a conversation and then forget what were you talking about and what point you wanted to make.
• You survive on caffeine to get through the day. You need a crutch to keep going, may be a tea, coffee, diet coke. Some may need wine, but this could be a slippery slope and not advised when children are under your care.
• You find something in your hand and completely forget how it got there.
• While you are sleep deprived, you start waiting for bed time since evening, and when your kids go to sleep, you want to have some child-free time and stay awake.
• Your sunglasses become more of a necessity than a fashion statement, because you want them to hide your facial issues.
• The kids have gone to bed, you have done the dishes and finally you decide to watch your favorite TV show. An hour later, you find yourself watching your kids’ favorite TV show.
• You planned a romantic dinner with your partner. You set the table, lit the candles and cut his food into tiny bite-sized pieces. You accidentally realize that you are treating your husband like your toddler and you are a mombie.
• You forget to reply to texts and calls that you missed.
• Since you are sleep deprived, you keep things somewhere and then forget where they are. After extensive search, you may find your keys in the refrigerator, bottle of milk in the wardrobe and shoes on the lawn.
• Even if you plan a night out with your friends without your kids, you can’t resist the temptation to strike a conversation about what your toddler did that day.
• If your kid has a field trip or school event, or you are supposed to attend their school PTM, you are a mombie if you are over-excited for it and preparing for it just like an enthusiastic fool.
• Your daydream about the day when your kid will grow up and finally bring your daughter or son in law. In your daydreams, you must even have prepared an entire meal you would be serving at his or her engagement party.
• Your phone memory is full of 20 different versions of a rhyme your kid sung.
• People have started blocking you on social media because you keep posting unimportant photos and updates of your kids.
• You are constantly clicking photos of your children and showing them to someone while explaining them how great your kids are. Literally, no one cares for how special your kids are, and you don’t have the right to torture them either with your kids’ stories.
• You are a mombie if your CD player or phone is full of nothing but kids songs and shows. They have replaced all the songs that you enjoyed listening to, and there is no entertainment left for you.
• You have learnt making crazy faces to bring laughter to your baby.
• Do you remember what was the last time you took a selfie without your kid peeping into it? Taking selfies is fine, but sometimes people like to view your pictures without your kids as well.
• Your purse is full of diapers and wipes instead of your beauty products, comb and mirror. You reach out to a lipstick in your purse, and end up bringing out a baby wipe.
• While it is good to love your kids and praise them, beware not to love them too much. Praising them constantly for each and every move they make can be damaging to their future. While growing up, they would think they are perfect and can never do anything wrong. But when they enter the real world, they would have difficulty realizing that other people don’t think they are as perfect as you think they are.

There is an important distinction to be made between being a mombie and having postpartum depression or a stress related mental illness. Mombies grow out of it and many of the character traits are funny and often reveal more about times when looking after newborns before they become a more assured parent. If you think you may be suffering from depression related to your role as a parent, it is important you speak to someone trusted and seriously consider seeking medical advice to ensure it doesn't become a problem.

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