What Does it Mean to Dream About Your Ex

By Mary Smith. Updated: December 19, 2017
What Does it Mean to Dream About Your Ex

Dreaming about an ex-partner can mean many different things. Whether you dream of an ex-boyfriend, ex-wife or any type of broken relationship with an intimate, the return of such strong feelings can be disquieting. If you have recently broken up, then it's understandable an ex might find their way into your subconscious mind. When someone from the past enters our dream state, this can seem a little more confusing. The dream might feel like a return of these strong feelings, but an ex-partner in a dream is more likely to be representational of some other emotion. oneHOWTO discusses what it means to dream about your ex so we can see why their appearance is working its way into your dreams, even if they're completely absent from your waking life.

You may also be interested in: What Does It Mean To Dream About The Devil?
Steps to follow:

Dreaming about being back together with an ex

First thing's first. Dreaming about your ex doesn't necessarily mean you still have feelings for them. Many ex partners were such a large part of our lives they became entangled. They know your family, have the same friend circles or even work in the same building. Just because you have broken up, doesn't mean you still won't associate these things with that person to some extent. It is even in the small things such as the scarf they bought your mother which she still wears or going to the cafe where you first kissed.

Even if in the dream, you and your ex-partner are back in a relationship, the interpretation doesn't have to be literal. You could even have been kissing, making love or engaging in any number of intimate activities. You may even have dreamt that you were married. Or dreamt you were married again. It still doesn't mean you've made 'the biggest mistake of your life' and you have to run out to them and declare your renewed love. You will need to think about the context of the dream of your ex. How did you feel about it at the time? How are you feeling in general at the moment? What other themes were present in the dream?

Answering the above questions will be more helpful than jumping to conclusions. However, one of the most difficult things about dreaming of your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is the realness of the feelings, both during the dream and immediately after you wake up. This is likely because at one stage you had intense feelings. The memories of these feelings can still have an impact, so make sure you rationalize the feelings as you think about them.


Dreaming you have feelings for your ex

In saying all this, dreaming about your ex-partner doesn't necessarily mean you don't still have feelings for that person. What these feelings are, however, can be hard to decipher. One of the most common reasons you dream about an ex is because you miss them. They were a big part of your life. Before they were a lover, they may have been a friend. Maybe you were not able to make a relationship work, but you don't hate them.

The circumstances of a break up can be one of the most important factors in working out how you feel about a dream about your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. Ask yourself how it ended. Was it amicable? Was it your decision? Was it simply circumstantial? One of the most important questions is, was it recent? If you have only broken up recently, even if it was your decision to do so, it is normal to have second thoughts. We may have thought we were making the right decision at the time or maybe we did so because we thought we weren't able to be with someone. If these things change, then dreaming about that person is likely. Unfortunately, no dream bible or informative article will be able to give you the answer to whether you made a mistake. This is a question only you can answer, but it is advisable to talk to someone about it.

If you dream about being back together with an ex, but the relationship was terrible, perhaps even abusive, then it is unlikely you are telling yourself to get back together. What is more likely is that you are worried about how you are moving on. Dreams are often distortions or even perversions of reality. Dreaming about an ex might mean you want to get back together, but it just as easily could mean the opposite.

What Does it Mean to Dream About Your Ex - Step 2

Dreaming about an ex when in a new relationship

It is almost likely if you have entered a new relationshipwith someone you will dream about an ex. Whether you are conscious of it or not, you will compare new relationships with old ones. Old relationships don't work for a number of reasons. If you dream about an ex-partner when with a new girlfriend, boyfriend or even spouse, then you are probably worried about whether it will work out or not. You may not want to make the same mistakes or you may hope that this new relationship is as fulfilling as the last one was (at the beginning at least).

It is understandable you will be cautious at the beginning of a new relationship. It is also understandable your brain can bring up related images when you feel this way. Dreaming of an ex while in a new relationship is likely a worry you will follow the same pattern. However, this is not the same as saying you will.


Dreaming about your ex with someone else

Dreaming about an ex with someone else can be a strange one. This is because there are many factors to consider. Again, you need to relate it to how you feel about thew break-up. If you are happy about the relationship being in the past, then it is likely there is something else at play other than regret or jealousy. It could be that

When you are dreaming about an ex and their new partner you should consider who this new partner is. Is it someone abstract? Is it a stranger or someone you know? Perhaps it could even be someone famous. If it is an abstract person or stranger, then it's likely your feelings are abstract. Maybe you simply miss the person. You are wondering what they are doing and your mind is filling in the blanks.

If it is someone you know, either personally or in the public sphere, you should think about what this person represents. If it is a previous love rival, it could be you are suffering a knock in confidence. We often dwell on how well others are doing when we have a bout of low confidence and it is feasible this can manifest itself in a dream about your ex. If it is a famous person, maybe the same goes. Have a think about your self-esteem. As our self-esteem is often affected by the person (or persons) we are in a relationship with, then dreaming of an ex could have something to do with it.

What Does it Mean to Dream About Your Ex - Step 4

Dreaming about an ex years later

One of the most surprising dreams about an ex is one you haven't even thought about in aeons. This is a difficult one because the reasons for them appearing in your dreams are innumerable. What it is likely, however, is that it is more about 'when' than 'who'. If you dream of someone you haven't even seen in years, you are probably thinking about the time when you were together.

Maybe that time was a great one which you cherish and miss. It was the time when you felt like you were at your peak and when your life was a little less stable, but a little more interesting. This could even be the reason why you broke up with this person (or why they broke up with you). If you dream about this person, it is likely it is because your dreams are reflecting on your progress as a person. Maybe early potential didn't reap the rewards you hoped. Dreaming about an ex years later is probably just a reflection on how you have grown.

It is important to remember, that you equally might be doing much better than that time. We have a habit of romanticizing the past, so don't let a lost love make you feel as if you are worse off, just because you dreamt about them.


Dreaming you killed an ex partner

While this can be a disturbing and scary dream, please know that it is unlikely you actually wish to kill this person. The same troubles you may have had which make you dream about an ex years later, may be manifesting themselves in this murderous dream also. An ex means they were in your life and now they're not (or at least not in the same capacity). Ex, therefore, means the past. Dreaming about killing your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend will probably be more symbolic of ending problems in the past.

Think about what has happened in your life and see if this ex-partner represents anything in particular. What was happening in your life at the time? Did you meet them during a certain circumstance which you are glad to be out of? Dreaming about an ex means dreaming about the past. What this means to you will be different depending on the circumstances.

You may also be dreaming about killing your ex because you have regrets about how it went down. Maybe they were someone you could see having children with or simply wanted to stay with for longer.

What Does it Mean to Dream About Your Ex - Step 6

There are many reasons you may dream about your ex, but there are also many reasons you would dream about anyone. The difference is that the emotions involved can be a little more intense. However, you may also dream about an ex who never meant much to you to begin with. If this is the case, you might simply be wanting to address some of your priorities.

When interpreting a dream about an ex, the devil is in the details. Ask yourself the right questions. How did you feel in the dream? How did it make you feel when you woke up? Where there any other images which might have had importance? Answering these questions, using our guide and being thoughtful can help you work it out. The most common answer you'll have though is the same for most: it was just a dream.

If you want to read similar articles to What Does it Mean to Dream About Your Ex, we recommend you visit our Culture & Society category.

Write a comment about What Does it Mean to Dream About Your Ex

What did you think of this article?

What Does it Mean to Dream About Your Ex
1 of 4
What Does it Mean to Dream About Your Ex

Back to top