Self-esteem in children

How to Help an Insecure Child

Mary Smith
By Mary Smith. Updated: May 18, 2017
How to Help an Insecure Child

Want to know how to help a child with insecurities? Introversion is part of someone's personality, but a little learning can make someone open up a little and make them more confident. Overall, insecurity is a clear reflection of a lack of confidence and is a problem that can be treated with love and patience. OneHowTo explains how to help an insecure child.

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  1. Insecure children scared of failing
  2. The importance of the family in noticing the problem
  3. Be aware of the signs
  4. Keep them busy with chores
  5. Motivate them
  6. Teach them to accept their body
  7. Tell them how much you love them

Insecure children scared of failing

It is common for an insecure child to withdraw out of a fear to fail. When a child feels they have few skills in a particular area such as studies, sport or social relationships, they tend to be prepared for disaster. As a result of this, they avoid any activity that may go hand in hand with their personal uneasiness. A child becomes withdrawn in certain situations and when those feelings of inferiority become generalise, they can start to feel insecure in all aspects of their life.

The importance of the family in noticing the problem

Each child learns at their own pace but it is very important that the family is aware in order to recognize the signs of a child with insecurities. If your child shows an exaggerated fear of failure and mistakes; if they have little motivation to mix or play; if they don't show enthusiasm or interest in classes; if they take criticisms or observations very badly and if, despite trying to studying, their school results are poor, these are clear signs that insecurity is taking its toll on your child.

How to Help an Insecure Child - The importance of the family in noticing the problem

Be aware of the signs

There are more visible signs that indicate that your child has insecurities. These are some of the most common signs that mean insecurity in children:

  • They are shy when around people or in they daily classes at school
  • They are noisy and sometimes difficult to treat
  • They avoid any activity that puts their abilities into question
  • They feel very sad and frustrated at school
  • They tend to put themselves down constantly by saying that they lack any special skills.

You must be aware of these signs because they are a clear warning sign that your child needs you.

Keep them busy with chores

Your efforts should be directed towards restoring their confidence and self-esteem. It is essential that parents help children break this damaging line of thought. You should increase their self-esteem and show how positive it is to behave in a more active and participatory manner. It is highly recommended that you give them appropriate responsibilities for their age and skills. If you do not ask them to do anything, you will be reinforcing their belief that you do not trust them If you ask too much of them and demand too much, you will make them feel bad because you will reinforce their image as a person lacking talent and skills.

How to Help an Insecure Child - Keep them busy with chores

Motivate them

To raise to your child's damaged self-esteem praise them for their accomplishments, however small. Do not make the mistake of assuming your child knows that you feel proud of them. Letting them know is very positive. Also, speaking positively about your child to other people in front of your child is recommended.

In addition to recognizing their achievements, you should downplay failures. This will motivate them to keep trying and not to give up. Another way to boost your child's confidence is to teach self-reinforcement: positive thoughts about oneself are essential. Let them put it into practice.

Teach them to accept their body

A common feature that creates insecurity is one's physical appearance. Doubts about body shape or size are the result of many complicated feelings. These uncertainties are due to messages received from childhood, and parents often make the mistake of comparing children to each other. You should teach your child to accept themselves. Tell them that their physique is wonderful and there is no reason to envy or compare themselves to others. As a parent you should help your child feel as special as they are.

In this article we provide some tips to help you overcome an inferiority complex.

How to Help an Insecure Child - Teach them to accept their body

Tell them how much you love them

And above all, to help your child feel more confident, you should show them plenty of love and affection. All children need to feel loved and to feel that they are loved just the way they are. Show your love in many ways: by listening, supporting them, caring, playing and, above all, involve them in family life. These aspects will help them feel more motivated and be more likely to use their potential throughout their school years.

If you want to read similar articles to How to Help an Insecure Child, we recommend you visit our Being a Mom & Dad category.


  • If, regardless of doing all you can to help your child with his/her insecurities, you still feel they need more help, you should bring them to a children's psychologist.
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How to Help an Insecure Child